Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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