you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
