Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
