I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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