32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
