Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
