i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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