The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
there was a trapeze. enough said
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
