You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
