You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
