I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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