'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
