at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
