I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
