My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
