I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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