I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
