East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
