Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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