That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
