i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is Oprah even human
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
