you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
