I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
