Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
