I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
