I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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