3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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