at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize