so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
