we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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