yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Couch. On fire.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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