We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
