who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
