super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
