Got a toothbrush?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize