Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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