We're like a lot better than the average bears
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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