Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
