May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
