big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
