In the future we'll all be gay
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
