Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
