Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
