Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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