Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
