Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize