Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you win again, gameday.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize