He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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