My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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