I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
