Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
