I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
