You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
