I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
im holly from the hills drunk
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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