I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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