I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize