im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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