I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
