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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
