More tranny stories later!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
