I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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